The Relationship Centre

Empty Arms – The Pain of Pregnancy & Infant Loss

There is no more profound loss that the loss of a baby. It is a unique and agonizing pain that can leave families adrift in a sea of questions that often can never be answered; a sea of pain that can be all-consuming; a sea of doubt regarding the meaning of life; and a sea of fear about how to go on living when a piece of them died too.

This earth-shattering loss can occur in a variety of ways. It may be a first-trimester miscarriage, the devastating dilemma of making a decision to terminate, a later term loss, stillbirth or the loss of an infant in the hours, weeks or months following birth.

Sadly, pregnancy and infant loss is more common than many realize – touching 1 in 4 pregnancies. When a couple experiences a loss, they are often surprised to learn of people close to them who have also experienced a loss that they did not know about. There is a quiet club that no one wants to be a part of – namely, the parents who have lost a baby.

This loss will change you. There will be life as you knew it before your baby died, and life after – which is impossible to imagine in the early days following your loss. We support women and couples as they find their way after the death of their baby. This is a time when specialized care and sensitivity are needed and we take very special care of our families facing loss.

In our work, we help you to:

  • Have a safe place to explore and work through the painful emotions related to the loss of your baby
  • Manage triggers and develop a plan for self-care
  • Plan for events or celebrations that will be difficult to experience without your baby
  • Find ways to honour and remember your baby
  • Practice compassion as you find your way through this loss
  • Take care of your relationship with your partner as you may each grieve differently

Dads need help too:

Most of the time, the mother is the centre of attention when it comes to infant loss, perhaps because it is her body that carries the baby. But there is another person to consider, that baby’s dad. It can be difficult to suffer a loss while trying to support your partner and keep a brave face for others affected by the loss.

Therapy can help dads:

  • Understand what you are experiencing because of your loss
  • Learn how you can process your pain openly and honestly
  • Communicate with your partner how you feel
  • Lay down the shield (privately) so you too can heal
  • Learn what your partner needs and how to support her in her grief
  • Take care of your relationship together with your partner as you may grieve differently

We know your loss is devastating. But you don’t have to go through this alone. This is not an easy road but we can help you find your way on it. Call to book a first session with one of our compassionate therapists.