The Relationship Centre

You Can Be More Empowered

Do you struggle with feeling hopeless or helpless?

It is impossible to have a positive sense of wellbeing if you are plagued with feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.
It is important to recognize that there are steps you can take to improve how you feel creating a new sense of empowerment.

If you find yourself feeling that life has not been fair to you, I understand. Often life is unfair creating heartache and sadness. But maintaining a victim-mindset – that says “this is being done to me” will only serve to hurt you and keep you stuck. I understand that may sound harsh, but what I want most for you is to feel better.

10 Steps to Self-Empowerment

These are the suggested steps to achieving freedom from the victim mindset. Try one or two as a starting point. They do not need to be done in any specific order. The important thing is to start! 

  1. Observe yourself. Objectively observe others’ undesirable behaviour and your reaction. Does your reaction make you feel better or stop unwanted behaviour? Do you also do some of the objectionable behaviour? Experiment with other responses, including none, and see the result.

  2. Align your behaviour. Are you aligned with your goals and values? What steps do you need to take to be in alignment?

  3. Challenge your beliefs. What beliefs do you have and do they hinder you from accomplishing your goals?

  4. Meet your needs. It’s up to you, not someone else to ask for what you want and meet your needs.

  5. Take responsibility for your choices. What feels different when you say “I want to,” instead of, “I have to,” and, “I don’t want to,” instead of, “I can’t?” Taking responsibility helps you accept your choices and initiates the opportunity for change.

  6. Take action. Acquire the necessary skills and resources to achieve your goals. For example, if lack of training or education stops you from pursuing a career goal you want to achieve, sign up for the requisite classes–even if it will take some time to acquire the new learning/skills required to advance.

  7. Learn to be assertive. This empowers you to be authentic, set limits, and to build your self-esteem.

  8. Don’t blame or be defensive. Take responsibility for your happiness, unhappiness, and your part in disagreements and problems in your relationship, whether or not your partner does the same. Make amends for your contribution.

  9. Learn. Find out all you can about your situation. Information is power.

  10. Get support. Support is essential. Seek it from a trusted friend, mentor or a therapist.

The road to empowerment is not easy, but it provides the potential to feel more hope, happiness and confidence. If you need help to start or continue this journey, we have a therapist who would love to be your guide.

by Mary Joan Brinson MSW, RSW

A Resource We Love

We love these Wisdom for Healing Cards by Caroline Myss. They are intended for repeated use, as the task of keeping healthy on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level is lifelong. Healing is more than confronting the challenge of an illness. The wise approach is to realize that it is a lifestyle requiring constant support, and attention to the well-being of our mind, body, and spirit.